Looking at Behavior: When the body and brain are on fire
Behavior is communication. Through their behavior your child is trying to communicate something. For those with intense kids, too often we and/or schools tend to label behaviors and consequently kids as ‘bad,’ ‘defiant,’ or ‘manipulative,’ instead of trying to understand what they or their bodies are trying to communicate. Too often what these kids are communicating is that their bodies (and brains) are off. Something is not right.
Daniel Seigel, author of The Whole Brain Child makes a distinction between the upstairs and downstairs brain. The upstairs brain is for problem solving, paying attention and managing behavior. The downstairs brain is focused on “keeping us safe.” It is the fight/flight/freeze mode. Lots of meltdowns means the downstairs brain is running the show. In this state, the body is flooding itself with cortisol and adrenaline and the child can’t access the upstairs brain. Too often as teachers and parents, we try to use intense reactions as teachable moments and give kids only upstairs brain tools to do so. However, if the body is off and the brain is on fire, the downstairs brain is in control. Your child cannot problem solve or manage their behavior in the moment. First and foremost they need to calm their nervous system.
—————————————————————————————————————————————-
Samantha Moe’s Mad to Glad Blueprint uses brain based parenting tools to calm the brain, build peace and focus on the relationship with your child. Her work is inspiring and worth checking out.
—————————————————————————————————————————————-
But what is sending these kids into flight/flight modes? And why do some of our kids struggle more with intense reactions? While parenting/teaching strategies are important, there can be underlying imbalances that make it hard for our children’s bodies and nervous systems to be calm.
Several years into my mind/body health journey, I woke up one morning angry. Nothing had happened to make me angry, but I could feel it raging and running throughout my body. While I was able to acknowledge I was feeling anger, it was difficult to not let it affect what I said and how I interacted with others. That emotions such as anger could come from my body - not be a response to something that happened - was new to me. Through this lens, it meant my body was off and I needed to figure out why.
As parents we can be detectives to discover why our children’s bodies and brains are off in the first place. Below are some underlying issues that can keep your child in a downstairs brain or fight/flight mode.
Low Blood Sugar
The body uses glucose for its energy needs. Low or chronic low blood sugar can result in mood swings, irritability, being ‘hangry’ and an inability to concentrate.
Neurotransmitter Imbalances
Often this begins in the gut. Microbes play a large role in production and metabolism of neurotransmitters and their precursors. For example, large quantities of serotonin, our ‘happy hormone,’ are produced in the gut.
Obstructive Sleep Apnea
Often we are unaware this is in an issue for our children. But if they are constantly being woken at night, they are not rested.
Primitive retained reflexes
Reflexes such as the moro reflex that affects anxiety can be an issue if it was never integrated during development. Occupational Therapists or therapies such as the Masgutova Method or Rhythmic Movement Training are helpful.
Pathogenic Infections
Microbial inflections can affect behavior. PANS/PANDAS/Auto-immune encephalitis can be a place to start. Beth Lambert and Maria Rickert Hong’s Brain Under Attack is a great resource.
Diet - lack of nutrients, important minerals
The zinc/copper ratio has an effect on mood. B vitamins and minerals such as calcium and magnesium calm the nervous system.
Food Sensitivities
Sensitivities to foods or food additives such as glutamates can wreak havoc on the body, affecting the gut, resulting in adverse effects on mood and behavior.